"Atomic Blonde" Review
The following is a dramatic re-enactment of my inner monologue while watching "Atomic Blonde":
*movie starts*
"Oh baby, I love Charlize Theron and the John Wick movies. I hope this is gonna be good. I read that she did at least 80% of her stunts and had to get dental surgery after because she's so hardcore."
*a few minutes later"
"This looks so pretty. The colour grading and cinematography is so gorgeous! The music choices are so good."
*a few more minutes later*
"Okay, this music is getting a bit annoying, I hope it doesn't keep doing this. What's even happening to the plot right now? lol."
*some time later*
"Um, I don't think I'm liking this at all... why is anyone doing any of this? Omfg this music needs to stop playing."
*later*
"That was so badass."
*later*
"This movie is a bit over 2 hours but why does it feel like it's 3 hours long? I wonder what my friends are up to right now."
*during an action scene*
"Oh, I know the movie that's playing in the background! I would love to watch that right now instead of this to be honest."
*a few minutes later*
"Whoever edited the music into this movie should've been fired."
*what feels like an eternity later*
"OMFG THIS IS AMAZING!!!!"
*moments later*
"OMFG HOW DID THEY SHOOT THIS???!!!*
*later*
"Ohhhhh!!!! I don't get it"
*movie ends*
"OHHHHHHH!! I still don't get it...."
*on the way home*
"Man, I wish I went to see A Ghost Story instead."